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Inspiration finds me December 2, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Social discourse, 4comments Tags: , , , .

Yesterday, my astute co-worker said to me, “You haven’t blogged in a while.” It’s true, I haven’t.

So, today, while getting ready for my lunchtime yoga class, I thought to myself, “Why haven’t I blogged in so long?” I answered myself with, “I’ve been uninspired.”

Then, at the end of my yoga class, we bowed in a comfortable seated position with our arms behind our backs holding onto either elbow and our instructor, Jen, told us to think of three people who inspire us. Here’s what went through my mind:

  1. My parents – Okay, that’s cheating a bit because it’s two people. My parents got married, moved out to California and started their own business. They didn’t make much money in the first few years, as many small businesses don’t, but they stuck with it. They waited to have a child until they were financially stable enough to support raising one, an admirable decision. Now, they live up in the hills of Napa in a large home with a vineyard. It took 25 years to achieve this goal.
    houseThrough it all, they’ve stayed married. In fact, they’re celebrating their 28-year anniversary this year on 26 December. Sure, they’ve had their hard times, but I’ve watched them work through them and ultimately become stronger as both individuals and a couple. While I’ve learned from their successes, I’ve also learned from their mistakes (which will hopefully prevent my own), and I’m ever grateful for the guidance and support that they’ve always given me.
  2. Angela Franta – My co-worker, friend and mentor, Angela inspires me with her integrity, dedication and perseverance. She has the courage to stick to her guns and make difficult decisions, sometimes skipping the easy route and choosing the harder road. She’s never settled for less and strives to receive what she deserves. An impeccable event planner, I am honored that she refers to me as her “long lost sister” since we’re the same person – only unrelated and just a few years apart in age.
  3. Chris Grossgart – The senior vice president of my department, Chris is a constant pillar of encouragement and support. My mother often refers to Chris as my “office mom” – always there to listen to my troubles, offer advice and propel me forward. Chris has chosen to take a leap of faith and start a new path in life and I admire her gumption and daringness. Her attitude, sense of humor and tenacity inspire me every day I am lucky enough to speak with her.

After the class finished this train of thought, we were told to think of three people we inspire. The three that came to mind were:

  1. Amanda Aiello – My co-worker and friend, Amanda has not always been the “planning type” in her social life – preferring to “go with the flow.” When we first became friends and were scheduling time to spend together, she’d joke about how she’d better book me a month in advance – not far from the truth – and that she wasn’t ready to make such a commitment. Now she’s planning her wedding and I can see the planner side coming out. We often joke that I’ve rubbed off on her! In fact, just earlier today, she sent me a link to her wedding web site and said, “Aren’t you proud of me?” Yes, Amanda, yes, I am.
  2. Mea Chavez – A long time friend, Mea and I met during my first job as a summer camp counselor at the ripe old age of 16. We’ve seen each other through some rough patches, shared in laughter and fun, and come out even stronger. We look at each other as the friends to go to when we need to hear the ugly truth about a situation and may not be ready to hear it, but know that we need to. I don’t have any solid evidence that I’ve inspired Mea, but I vaguely recall an instance where she’s said that I have. Regardless, I hope I’ve helped her as much as she’s helped me. (Editor’s note: I just checked with her, and apparently, I have inspired her!)
  3. Chris Grossgart – As is the case many times, inspiration goes both ways. Chris once e-mailed me (after a thank you e-mail from me for her caring nature), “I care about you, respect you and have complete faith in you. But more importantly, I learn from you and you inspire me. I especially appreciate your can-do, positive approach on everything you do. That’s how you come across despite your frustrations.” One of the highest compliments I’ve ever received.

So, your assignment for today: think of three people who inspire you, then think of three people you inspire.

Feel free to share in this space, or on your own blog. Your inspirers and inspirees (yes, I made a word up) will be honored.

A prescription drug can make you more outgoing? October 26, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Pop culture, 3comments Tags: , , .

I was watching TV the other night, when I saw a commercial for prescription sleep aid AMBIEN CR.  Normally, I zone out during prescription drug ads, unless they pertain to my own ailment or I think they’ll provide good fodder for mocking.

I tuned in to the quiet, long list of side effects that drug companies are required to include. Amongst the expected ones like agitation, depression, sleepwalking, allergic reactions, I heard one of the strangest side effects ever: “abnormal behavior such as being more outgoing than normal.”

Really? So, if I’m out at a party and feeling a little shy, I can just pop some AMBIEN CR and I could possibly come out of my shell? Or if I’m on a date, and I’m a little nervous, excuse myself to the restroom to take the prescription drug and I’ll be ready to charm?

On the other hand, AMBIEN CR can also cause “abnormal behavior such as being more aggressive than normal,” so those situations could backfire.

Regardless, I’d like to see the studies on this one!

What would it be like if there were actually pills to make you more outgoing? Would you take them?

*Funny note: Hear about a bad experience with AMBIEN on a date on an episode of NBC’s Parks and Recreation. To quote the character Leslie Knope, “What if, instead of Tic Tacs, I pop a few AMBIEN beforehand and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?”

A new age of talent management September 21, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Corporate responsibility, Loyalty, Office life, 6comments Tags: , , .

One of my many talented co-workers sent me an interesting article last week, entitled “The Talent Innovation Imperative” from strategy + business magazine. As is often the case, I put links like these aside until I have time to read them. And today, I found the time. And I found the article blog-worthy.

The essence of the article is that companies can’t stick to old models of employee management. Demographics, cultures, lifestyles, etc. are all changing, and the workplace needs to change with it or businesses will be unable to retain their best employees.

We’ve all heard someone say, “Well, at least you have a job.” Sure, this can be true during this troubling economic time, but as a friend said, “It doesn’t matter. Good employees will leave regardless if they’re unhappy.” And this article concurs, stating:

“Employees are so grateful to have their jobs, the thinking goes, that they can be relied on to deliver 100 percent. But the crisis has added urgency to the talent problem; the commitment of employees is most needed in a crunch, and that commitment is all too easy to lose…after a round of layoffs, voluntary attrition spikes by as much as 31 percent, and precisely the wrong people – those who have the strongest track records and brightest employment prospects even in a recession – are most likely to leave.”

The economic crisis not only brings difficult situations financially, but also in the leadership realm. This article brought to mind Mark Schumann’s presentation at the 2008 Research & Measurement Conference in Toronto last year. He discussed the 2007–2008 Towers Perrin Workforce Study. Some key findings that disconcerted me:

From these findings, Mark concluded that “we have a new ‘consumer of leaders’ who demands more, expects more, accepts less” – yes, even during challenging economic times.

The strategy + business article tackles many facets of the issues employers are facing – more ethnicities in the workplace, expanding achievement gap between women and men – but one that caught my interest for this blog was that of the three generations currently in the workforce.

The article tells us what we already know – Gen Y encompasses those born in 1979–1994 (at least this is their definition) and outnumbers the baby boomers (making up 60–75 percent of the workforce by 2025) – but it also emphasizes Gen Y’s desire to work somewhere that is socially responsible and encourages service-oriented breaks from work (say, to visit New Orleans to help Habitat for Humanity or travel around the world to speak on behalf of IABC as chair of the organization).

The most interesting part to me was the discussion about what all three generations are looking for in a workplace, including greater flexibility, ability to achieve desired work/life balance and belong to teams that generate “meaningful and valued results – within their companies and, if possible, in the world at large.”

While outlining the challenges facing employers, the article does give a succinct summary of what employees are now expecting:

“A more appropriate, 21st-century talent model assumes a workforce that is global, diverse, and gender-balanced, with discontinuous career progressions, in which high-potential employees may take time off or work for different types of organizations along the way. Under this model, companies value functional and leadership skills, embrace new employment structures (such as highly responsible part-time work), encourage virtual workplaces (in which people work together across long distances, communicating electronically), and offer nonmonetary rewards alongside financial rewards as a way to attract people. Family, community, and work are intertwined in a variety of ways, and the result is a more flexible, dynamic, and unpredictable workplace in which people feel they are continually building their skills and learning from the enterprise.”

Maybe your company can’t offer all of the above, but perhaps you can focus on keeping your employees engaged. “Engaged employees are far more productive and committed…But only one in four employees, on average, is ‘engaged.’”

How do you engage your employees? Focus on these four fundamental factors:

  1. “whether employees feel respected, valued and recognized;
  2. whether they perceive their job to be important to the success of the enterprise;
  3. how much pride they feel about the company and what it stands for; and
  4. how much trust and confidence they have in company leadership.”

The key to updated talent management? “Integrating the needs of the business with those of individuals.” Keep your employees happy, and they’ll keep the company running smoothly. You just have to make sure you do your part.

How has/is your company keeping you engaged during the recession?

Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja? August 28, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Pop culture, Random, 2comments Tags: , , .

That was the subject of an e-mail I recently received from my roommate. She doesn’t typically send “forwards,” so I knew it had to be good. And, oh, I had no idea!

Here are some of my favorites from the e-mail, with some commentary. There were many more I enjoyed, but some weren’t entirely “blog appropriate”…

“I wish Google Maps had an ‘Avoid Ghetto’ routing option.”
Seriously! I remember moving to San Francisco, I had my roommate draw me a “safe” route to walk to work because I had no idea where the boundaries for the Tenderloin were.

“More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.”
This reminded me of a few people in my life. I pointed out this trait to one of them; I was surprised by how shocked they were to hear they did this. At least when I do it, I tend to be aware that I’m trying to be a one-upper.

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.”

“Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.”
Yes! Why do we care so much?

“Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the ‘people you may know’ feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?”
I find myself clicking the little “x” that will make these people disappear. And doesn’t it always feel creepy when someone sends you a friend request and Facebook tells you “Sherry Fredster found you using People You May Know.”?

“Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the U.S. did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.”
How did we know that? How did we do so much before the Internet?

“There is a great need for sarcasm font.”
If you know me, you know how often I use sarcasm. So, hopefully, when we communicate electronically, you know when I’m being sarcastic. But it can take years to cultivate that relationship to where someone knows without being told that no, I wasn’t serious, I was using a sophisticated sense of humor (or, as someone on urbandictionary.com says, sarcasm is “used sometimes in order to belittle someone and make them seem stupid…or equally to amuse and impress them with your mind.” - you decide).

I could avoid many miscommunication snafus if I had a sarcasm font.

“I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.”
My list off the top of my head: Mean Girls (I love you, Tina Fey), Little Miss Sunshine (Steve Carrell, you genius), Knocked Up (Judd Apatow, what did we do without you?), Thank You for Smoking (just ignore Katie Holmes - this is a fantastic satire).

“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.”

“LOL has gone from meaning, ‘laugh out loud’ to ‘I have nothing else to say.’”
I think this captures why I’ve come to despise “LOL.” My best friend and I often discuss how much we hate “LOL” and are much more “haha” people. Who knew we could be categorized as such?

One caveat: I love when my senior vice president uses it.

Side note: My dad uses “LOL” to mean “Little Old Lady.” How times have changed.

“I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.”
For years, I’ve told people, “When I’m bored, I either sleep or I eat.”

“Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.”
Remember thinking, “There are three C’s in a row. That can’t be right. I must have answered one wrong!” and then second guessing yourself and agonizing over the pattern that had appeared on your Scantron?

“Whenever someone says ‘I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart,’ all I hear is ‘I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.’”

“How many times is it appropriate to say ‘What?’ before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?”

“While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it….thanks Mario Kart.”

“Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.”

“Bad decisions make good stories.”
Oh, so true.

“Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!”

“You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.”

“Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.”
Please, please, please…let’s join forces and resist any new technology so I don’t have to waste my money on some new format.

“I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.”

“I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Ugh!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?”
I have one friend I do this with constantly. I never understand how this actually happens! Ridiculously frustrating.

“I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.”
That just happened to me the other day.

“I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.”
Exactly. Then, I just don’t want to hear classical music or the thousands of They Might Be Giants songs I downloaded because I saw them in concert once or the Broadway showtunes that litter my playlists. Skip, skip, skip.

“Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.”
How is that possible? I do it and I still don’t know.

“I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.”

“It really irritates me when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.”

“The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat glutton before dinner.”
This happened to me when I ordered room service in Phoenix. I ordered chocolate covered strawberries and a chocolate lava cake. The room service staff member asked, “Is this for two?” I said, “No, just me…” And I ate it all.

And the one that inspired the title of the e-mail:

“My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, ‘Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?’ How on earth do I respond to that?”

I wish I could meet the author of this e-mail

Hope this gave you a laugh.

Ten things that I am grateful for today August 19, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Family, Social discourse, add a comment Tags: , , , .

In line with my last post, my new yoga instructor ended our class today having us sit in a comfortable cross-legged position, straighten our spines and bend into a seated forward fold (this will give you an idea). While in this position, she said we would review our gratitude list and instructed us to think of 10 things we are grateful for today.

Since this is similar to my nightly habit of listing three things that went well each day, I thought I would share my list from today with you—the honest list that went through my head during my yoga practice.

  1. I’m alive. I learned today of someone I had just e-mailed two days ago who died suddenly. I learned of a young man from my hometown, only two years younger than I am, who died in a motorcycle accident, a friend’s dog who had been poisoned, someone’s aunt who passed away…the list sadly goes on. These incidents made me extremely grateful that I am alive.
  2. I have great parents. Not everyone can say this, and I often take them for granted. Their love, support and presence in my life mean so much to me. Sure, they bug me every once in a while and have some strange tendencies, but overall, they’re pretty amazing.
  3. Kyle. This gets quite personal, but Kyle is my best friend from high school. We dated for nearly three years while I was in college and then broke up, but because each of us has a strong desire to be in each other’s lives, we are still best friends. I honestly am not sure what life would be like without him in it and I’m so thankful that we managed to make the transition (we work really hard at it, but I think it’s worth it).
  4. I have a job. There are a lot of people across the world who cannot say the same.
  5. I have a roof over my head. I’m reminded of this luxury I have quite often in my city, San Francisco, as we have a widespread homeless problem.
  6. I have food to eat. Similar to number five.
  7. I have great, supportive, fun, quirky, fabulous friends. Life would be so boring without them!
  8. I have good healthcare. A topic that is top-of-mind in the U.S. I am thankful for my health plan that allows me to choose my doctors (within the plan) and that each doctor I’ve found for my myriad needs, either through the Internet or recommendations from co-workers, friends or Napa doctors, are competent, open and friendly.
  9. I have my health. Sure, I may suffer from asthma, chronic allergies that go crazy if I’m not on Zyrtec, occasional acne breakouts, many moles that hopefully won’t become cancerous, occasional eczma if I don’t use lotion on my elbows…but none of these compare to having cervical cancer, AIDS, Crohn’s Disease or any other life-changing ailment. I’m lucky to have my health.
  10. I’m a heavy sleeper. Okay, this is a little lighter fare, but I am so grateful that I can sleep through the night peacefully. I hear tales of those who suffer from insomnia and I realize that I am blessed to easily sleep 8–10 hours (sometimes 12!).

What are the 10 things you are grateful for today?

Taking each day as it comes July 31, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Social discourse, 1 comment so far Tags: , , , .

I like to think of myself as a positive person. I try to see the good side of every situation, no matter how bad. I try to keep a smile on my face even when I don’t feel like being chipper. But sometimes, I just can’t do it.

I recently had some dramatic circumstances come my way. I took a week to sulk, wallow and be down. People took notice.

I was told I was bumming others out. I was told to smile even if I didn’t feel like it. I was asked if I was cranky because I wasn’t chatting as much as usual (which is usually quite a bit).

I was somewhat shocked by these responses. Because I am typically upbeat, am I not allowed to have bad days? Must I put on a show for others when I’m feeling down because I’m typically the one to cheer them up?

It struck me that if I were normally a negative or, simply, neutral person, no one would take note of my sour demeanor—they’d chock it up to my usual self. In a way, my peers’ comments made me feel like I was being punished for being a positive person.

I took these comments to heart and considered what my friends were saying. I ultimately decided that I had every right to take a hiatus from being perky and stayed cranky—but decided it should only last a week, then I would move towards returning to my positive self.

I admit that this transition hasn’t been easy. I’ve slipped—I complain; I vent; I commiserate. But often at the end of my gab sessions, I state my new motto: “I’m taking every day as it comes.”

Something that I’ve found helpful, albeit making it a habit is proving difficult, is a trick I learned from U.S. News and World Report’s “50 Ways to Improve Your Life” articles from 2008 (here’s 2009 in case you’re interested). Every day, before you go to bed, write down three things that went well that day. It could be as simple as the line at Starbucks was shorter than usual or you didn’t have to deal with an ornery bus driver. Or more life-changing, such as “I got a promotion!”

The idea is that you’ll end the day on a positive note, and that you’ll learn to focus on the positive angle of every situation, regardless of how irksome, depressing, [insert negative adjective here] the circumstances.

When I do this consistently, I notice a change in my outlook—and I love it. Recently, I was visiting my best friend in Virginia. I was leaving on a Monday morning on a 7 a.m. flight to make it back to California in time for four hours of work, planning to save some vacation time for the future. As I was going to bed, I noticed I had a voicemail. Of course, it was United—my flight had been cancelled. I called the airline and they put me on two new flights (yes, no longer a convenient non-stop flight). Oh, and there were only middle seats available (but at least in Economy Plus, one perk of being a Premier). After allowing myself to be mad at United (which happens so often), I decided to make a list of positives for the situation:

  1. I wouldn’t have to get up at 5 a.m. (which my friend pointed out was a huge positive).
  2. I would definitely have enough time to finish my book, Fools Die.
  3. I would have time in Denver to buy food at an airport restaurant instead of purchasing food onboard (cardboard chicken or an unhealthy snackbox, anyone?).
  4. I would have more time with my friend (another huge plus).

This helped me go to bed with a nicer attitude toward United, which then benefited me when I calmly explained to them why I was upset. They issued me a US$150 credit toward a future flight and moved me to a window seat for the first leg of my journey.

So, I’m still working on staying upbeat, focusing on the good in life and taking each day at a time. The support of my family and friends helps to keep me centered (as does yoga) and my occasional venting allows me to expel my negative energy instead of harboring it all inside. My goal: become a happier Stacey as each day passes.

In the end, being negative will just make your life worse, not better. It is just that sometimes you need to take the time to let yourself feel bad in order to feel good again.

Watch out for the blades June 24, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Family, 1 comment so far Tags: , , , .

I didn’t totally believe all the hype about Generation Y’s helicopter parents until I encountered one while on my cruise to the Bahamas last week.

My best friend and I made quite a few friends on our trip, including two very nice 20-year-old stepbrothers from Colorado. We spent quite a bit of time with them—dancing, talking, laughing, playing ping-pong, swimming in the ocean, people watching, and just plain having fun.

The guys, let’s call them Sean and Matt, were vacationing with their family, as one of their cousins was getting married on the cruise line’s private island, Great Stirrup Cay (complete with a seaweed heart on the sand and a plant-life bouquet for the bride), allowing us to meet and/or see 12 of their family members.

While their parents gave all the kids freedom to do what they liked on the trip, every once in a while you would see one or both of them wandering around to check in on the brothers. Nothing abnormal here—I know my parents would have done the same.

The revelation of the mother’s helicopter parent status came when she hovered near the dance floor on the last night of the trip late into the night (or morning, depending on your perspective), watching her son, Sean, specifically. Perhaps not all that scandalous on its own, until she couldn’t hold back any longer. She approached the boys, who had been dancing with me and my friend, and accused us of making fun of her son. How? I’m not sure. By being friendly? By dancing with him? By showing him some attention? It was very mysterious. Until we learned more about this woman.

Apparently, this was not her first offense. In the past, her son’s best friend got a girlfriend and started spending less time with Sean, something that happens to many of us. Well, Sean’s mom found it unacceptable. She called the friend and reprimanded him for spending less time with Sean. While this was the only occasion that Sean and Matt felt comfortable sharing, my hunch is that there are many more.

Granted, these two incidents are mild compared to other examples I’ve heard or read regarding the horrors of helicopter parents, and I’m sure Sean’s mom had good intentions, but her actions did not achieve the results she desired. Instead of helping her son, she embarrassed him immensely. She made him look insecure and unable to take care of himself—traits I did not see in him. He’s a grown boy who should be allowed to make decisions on his own. If he wanted her advice, he would come to her and ask for it—she need not get involved, especially of her own accord.

Meddling is never a good position, whether you’re a parent, a friend or whomever. I’ve gotten in arguments with my friends for trying to fight my battles for me. I can take care of myself. I may ask for advice or express frustrations, but that doesn’t mean I’m slyly asking you to take care of the situation for me. Let me do it on my own, in my own time.

It’s moments like these, when I want to call my mom and tell her that I love her and appreciate what a great mother she was and is. As much as she tried to protect me and offered to get involved, she rarely overstepped her boundaries, something I am eternally grateful for.

My question to you is: How will having helicopter parents affect these children in the future?

I have my own thoughts, but am more interested in yours.

Going offline June 3, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Disconnecting, 3comments Tags: , , .

To my loyal readers (and the rest of the world) -

Today marks my last day in the office until 22 June. Yes, I will be away from the desk that I call home 40 hours each week for 19 days…and I’m excited!

Starting tomorrow, I will be spending most of my time at the San Francisco Marriott for the IABC 2009 World Conference. The process starts with receiving the conference shipment, followed by double-checking the registration name badges to ensure everyone receives their tickets - that’s the not-so-glamorous part.

The glamorous part begins on Saturday. First, coordinating and participating in the pre-conference community project, a beach clean-up with the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. Then, registration opens and I get to see the early arrival speakers. This is my favorite part: meeting the amazing people I have been communicating with for months over e-mail and phone calls, but never in person. Now is the time to match faces to names; always gratifying.

Sunday is a day full of meeting speakers and monitoring sessions, followed by the fantastic Welcome Reception at the San Francisco Ferry Building - we have the whole thing to ourselves. Monday, more of the same, but I also have the privilege of working with the fabulous Angela Franta to help coordinate the Gold Quill Awards Gala Dinner (I met the emcee, Doug McConnell, yesterday - what a congenial, warm-hearted man; he’ll do a great job). Tuesday involves more speaker coordination and session monitoring, plus the Networking Reception in the Exhibit Hall. Wednesday, the all-star sessions and co-managing the return shipment. And finally, plopping onto my living room sofa for a nice long nap.

Two days later, I am off to Miami with my best friend from college and three days after that, we will board the Norwegian Sky for a four-day cruise to the Bahamas where my strenuous workout routine will finally pay off. My dreams of late have involved beach-side tropical drinks, snorkeling in the warm Atlantic, dancing up a storm in the ship’s night clubs, gorging myself with food while making new friends and enjoying quality time with one of my favorite people.

In short, I am leaving you until my return in late June; when I take a vacation, I really take a vacation. I promise myself not to log into work e-mail, and hopefully not even personal e-mail, and no blogging allowed either. Plus, being in the Bahamas will make my cell phone useless, so that’s an added bonus.

Hopefully Janna can keep you entertained after her return from conference. ;)

Will you hold us accountable? May 28, 2009

Posted by Janna White in Author: Janna White, Author: Stacey Thornberry, Conferences, Office life, 3comments Tags: , , , .

A recent post by blogger Rebecca Thorman claims that Gen Y needs boundaries for action. Stacey and I sit at opposite ends of the IABC office, so it was pure chance that each of us happened upon the post—and found it a smart take on an idea that hit home for us both. Wrote Stacey:

My parents always expected me to do well. There was no alternative; I would succeed. This made me strive even harder to achieve my goals. I knew that if I didn’t do well, I would not only be disappointing myself, I’d be disappointing them—two of the most important people in my life.

Eventually, this mind-set became my own. Their desire for me to accomplish things turned into self-motivation. To this day, I never like to put minimal effort into my tasks. If I set out to do something, I’m going to do it and do it well.

I believe the accountability created by my parents is a large part of why I’m proud of who I am and what I’ve done with my life thus far. The motivating force to not disappoint them pushes me to do more.

Thorman’s post talks about my generation’s freedom of choice and links to another post by Grace Boyle which elaborates on this issue. My favorite line: “The more choices you have, the more decisions you must make–and the more you have yourself to blame if you wind up unhappy.“

Our many choices overwhelm us. What am I going to do with my life? Other people are getting married, is it time for me? Should I move to another part of the country or world to experience living in another environment while I lack family obligations? What about career-hopping? I’m single…is that bad? Is it time to live alone rather than with roommates? The list goes on and on…

Being taught that we have every opportunity in the world is great…to a point. As Daniel Gilbert discusses in the video Thorman references, freedom of choices is the complement to natural happiness, but it is the enemy of synthetic happiness, our psychological immune system that helps us accept that things cannot change. (Watch the video—it’s worth the 20 minutes of your life.)

With the encouragement to go out, be successful and live a happy life doing what we want to do, we also need someone behind us supporting us along the way and making us accountable. Instead of just gliding along, we’ll need to report back to someone and receive the sweet taste of recognition or the troubling face of disappointment.

I’m of a similar mind. I did my best work in college for the professors whom I most respected and admired. Don’t get me wrong—I worked hard in all of my classes. Like Stacey, I don’t like doing anything half-heartedly. But being accountable to someone else kicks my motivation up to 11.

For me it’s also about closure. I find it harder to truly feel like a project is done if it starts and ends at my desk alone. A few weeks back I wanted to tackle a personal project I’d been putting off for too long. I stood up from my living room couch and told my roommate I was going to go work on the project—not because it mattered much to him, but because saying it out loud somehow made it more real.

Sure enough, I went into my room and didn’t reemerge until I had finished what I had set out to do. Just by saying that I would, I was able to check one thing off my list (not to mention that all of a sudden, the other things on the list started to sound less daunting).

But there won’t always be someone to look over my shoulder and tell me how I’m doing, so how do I become more accountable to myself? Do I write a post announcing to our readers when I’ve screwed something up to shame myself into doing better next time? Do I deny myself coffee for a week as punishment? (Though, that might be just as painful for my coworkers as for me.)

On the other hand, call it a reliance on boundaries or accountability, call it a self-conscious plea for affirmation—but is it really just our generation that needs it? After all, what else are best practices, benchmarking or professional award programs for? It’s a way to understand how you, your actions and your decisions, large or small, fit into a bigger picture, however manufactured it might be.

So is the optimum atmosphere for Gen Y productivity (and other generations, for that matter) a combination of the two—mostly micro-managing ourselves, but with another pair of eyes taking a look every so often? Stacey and I will both be busy working registration at IABC’s upcoming World Conference (where, yes, we’ll be blissfully accountable to attendees from far and wide for helping to make their experience in San Francisco as enjoyable and beneficial as it can possibly be) but I wish I could attend the sessions on generational differences to bring this question to the table. Anyone care to be my proxy? I promise I’ll hassle you for a summary report afterwards.

Generation M – or Generation “Own Pace”? May 26, 2009

Posted by Stacey Thornberry in Author: Stacey Thornberry, Office life, 3comments Tags: , , , .

I belong to a few groups on LinkedIn and like to follow the discussions for news in the communication, events and meeting industries. In my recent update from LinkedIn summarizing the discussions from the past week, I found a thread that sparked my interest in the Elite Meetings International, Inc. group. (Side note: I helped plan the first ever Elite Meetings Alliance in Santa Barbara, California as one of their interns, where I found my niche in event planning.)

The discussion was titled, “Any suggestions on working with generational gaps?” and was elaborated with, “Zap the Gap next Thursday with DCI Groups at the Westin City Center!”

I’ve seen many inquiries like this before, but what struck me was the first comment in the thread. Forgive me for copying and pasting the entire thing here, but I don’t think the link to the discussion will work for everyone:

“Very carefully from what I have experienced in recent months. My take on working with the latest generation to join the work force is that they are really bright, and talented; however they want to work on their own terms. Their sense of urgency and mine are two entirely different matters. I tend to multi-task and keep more than one project in the air at a time — while they very carefully work on one thing at a time, and at their own pace.

I have also noticed that instead of sitting down and taking a contract and reading it, they prefer to ask you to tell them everything important in the contract. A friend of mine refers to this as “spoon feeding” — they verbally want to hear the high points, not have to read them and comprehend. In one particular instance it was indicated that the meals would be consumed in b/o rooms — and the person asked me where the meals were to be held. I paused, knowing it was clearly indicated in the schedule and I countered with, “what does it say on the schedule”. The intern countered with, I really don’t understand, please explain to me where the meals will be served. So I asked again if she was unfamiliar with the terminology used on the schedule. At that, she got up and went to the Director’s office and advised that individual that she was here to learn as much as possible, and that did not include working in an environment where she was “challenged” to decipher abbreviations.

My point was I wanted to see if she would read, comprehend and answer her own question — but it became obvious she wanted her questions answered without having to deduce or think strategically or logically. I suspect this comes from being the generation that has always had a computer at their finger-tips and anything they wanted to know was input and the answer popped back at them instantaneously. So trying to get them to think on their own is a rather foreign concept.

One very interesting item was that as more and more assignments were given to this individual they began to work later and from their home computer. No problem as I do the same thing — except they had their mother calculating the cancellation penalty schedule and doing the budgets on the excel spreadsheet I have devised and provided.”

Yes, a very long comment, I know. I responded to this discussion because it struck me personally. I first recommended some materials available by IABC (ask me if you’re interested; trying to save space on this already long post) and then gave some personal reactions:

“Also, in response to the first comment, I find your observations interesting. I love multitasking and getting many things done at once, but was told to slow down and concentrate on one task at a time to make sure not to make any mistakes. Your suspicions about wanting to be “spoon fed” information might be truthful - having the Internet at our disposal has made my generation expectant for simple answers and immediate feedback, but I think we’re also willing to learn and take on a challenge.

I find it unfortunate that you happened to encounter a Gen Y member who did not jump on this challenge at understanding and instead took the easy way out. I hope you can work with other Gen Yers who can provide you with a more positive experience.”

I was prompted to comment because I recently had a discussion with my supervisor who said, “I know you like being busy, multi-tasking and having multiple balls in the air at the same time.” I could do nothing but agree.

When I first started at IABC, I was dinged in my review for not taking enough time on projects. Also true. My supervisor constructively (and politely) told me to go slower, spend more time reviewing the details and double-, triple-, quadruple-checking my work (okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration). I took this to heart and worked hard to fix this and believe I have.

I find the comment in this discussion intriguing because of what Janna and I mentioned in our first post: “We’ve even heard us referred to as Generation M—as in, a generation of ‘multitaskers.’” Sure, I know some members of our generation who prefer to do one thing at a time, but I believe they’re the exception to the rule. In today’s times, we need the ability to do multiple things at once, manage many projects and keep up with the array of deadlines we have.

My secrets to success:

This is another prime example of the risk associated with judging all by experiences with few.

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